Top 5 Epic Rap Battles of History (& their best lines)

I have previously sung the praises of ERB, but I have not yet done a dedicated post on them so here goes. And to make sure this is completely accurate, I will be listening to ERBs while I write. "I kill you with Olive Garden Garlic Breadsticks" and "I have a dream that one day you'll take a shower" will be playing as I write about their hilarious raps. 



5: Ragnar Lodbrok vs Richard the Lionheart
 
In their most recent battle, Viking legend Ragnar Lodbrok takes on former King of England Richard I. Despite a not-so- brilliant start, it gets progressively better and better. Neither holds back, but the disses are also very direct and, unlike in one or two ERBs, they are not just generic disses that could apply to anyone. 
I like that, because people like me who didn't know too much about either of the figures learn who they actually were, and this battle has led me to do some research on both figures. The best line, in my opinion, is "You're a wannabe, mon ami (my friend), kneel down and honor me", which is said by Richard during his second verse. I chose this one largely because of its catchiness, and it certainly isn't the best line in this list. 


4: Elon Musk vs Mark Zuckerberg 
This is a really good one for first-time watchers, because these are both really well-known figures. Nice Peter does Mark Zuckerberg really well, and it is good throughout (except maybe certain areas of Elon Musk's last verse). Overall it is just a light-hearted clash between two well-known billionaires, a sort of sequel to Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates. 
The best line comes in Zuckerberg's first verse, where Nice Peter perfectly portrays Zuckerberg perfectly in the line "I'm the CEO of Knowing What You Think, Inc.", although it is pushed close by lines such as "You provide a place to discover your aunt's kinda racist" from Musk. A really solid and worthy battle to mark their return after a two-year break.


3: George Washington vs William Wallace 

In this battle two famous heroes go up against each other in a battle for the ages. It is really funny to see two legendary heroes tear each other up, pointing out out each other's faults while trying to reinstate their respective godlike statuses. You have to admit that both (especially Washington) were far from perfect. 
I would say this is the second-most underrated battle after Guy Fawkes vs Che Guevara, which made my shortlist, and the best line is certainly a hilarious low blow. Right at the beginning of Wallace's first verse he says "Looking like a stiffer white d*** than your monument!" I'll let you judge whether or not the pictured obelisk does indeed look like a male reproductional organ.


2: Eastern Philosophers vs Western Philosophers 
While sometimes the introduction of a whole bunch of characters can be a bit of an overload, all of these characters brought something new to the table. It was really smart how they made both sides start arguing with each other. There were some lines that were lacking, but these were made acceptable with the amount of brilliant ones. 
While I did consider "Confucius say you can all hold these fortune cookies" and "these white boys getting burned, 'cause guess what now the Sun's out", the best line has to be "'cause I'm N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E, and I'll end any mother-f***er like my name in a spelling B". Kinda ironic that it took me three attempts to spell Nietzsche right, despite it being in the above picture, so you know its true. 


1: Vlad the Impaler vs Count Dracula 
I'm biased, I'm not going to lie. I have read Bram Stoker's "Dracula", really like vampires and have always been fascinated by Vlad the Impaler. However, I think it is really an enjoyable rap battle for everyone. The costumes, props and production value are generally really good, and it is kind of the ideal ERB that most others aim to be. 
While it is practically a minefield of brilliant lines, my ultimate favorite is "Your skill's like your reflection: it doesn't exist". Please remember this is just my opinion, so please remember to leave yours down in the comments below on both the best rap battles and their respective best lines. 


There's my top 5! Please leave post requests in the comments below, follow me on my respective social media and share my blog with your friends and family. And if you don't know about ERB, then what are you waiting for; go check it out. I promise that you won't regret it! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and I will see you next time. Noah c:

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